Passive-Aggressive Rants

Conflict is a hard thing to handle. A lot of us tend to avoid conflict, and that can often be worse than facing conflict head-on. No matter what, you’re going to be hurt somehow. In a way, I think the worst way to handle conflict is the passive-aggressive rant. Instead of confronting the problem (or who or what caused the problem) head on, you’ll beat around the bush and hope that the other person “gets” what you’re trying to convey without you having to openly say it.

Why not just say what you  mean? There’s a lot less room for misinterpretation if you speak your mind and state clearly and simply what’s bothering you. You never know how your words affect another person. Yes, it’s infinitely harder to actually confront the person and say to their face, “I don’t like that you did… Let’s talk about it and work it out” than to say something vague like, “Some people need to stop doing x because they really hurt my feelings.”

I’m guilty of passive-aggressive rants myself, and if I have a problem with someone, I’ve been trying my best to talk to them and only them. It’s not fair to broadcast a passive-aggressive rant in order to get attention, or to beat around the bush in hopes that the other person will miraculously understand your point of view and feel sorry about what he/she has done.

Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. I know that if someone spits out a passive-aggressive rant that could be about me, I’ll get upset wondering if I’m the person they’re upset at. In the end, I think most people would prefer to get the truth.

Any thoughts?

9 thoughts on “Passive-Aggressive Rants

  1. I have a friend whose posts on Facebook are usually things like, “You thought you understood it all, but now you see that you didn’t have a clue.” With no indication of who is the object of this, let alone what she’s talking about. Needless to say, I’m sure this almost never produces any result, since I’m sure the rest of her friends think, “Well, I don’t think she’s talking about me,” probably including the person she is actually talking about.

    This approach seems designed to perpetuate the problem, whatever that problem is. I agree, sitting down and talking about it (with the person who is actually involved) is a good first step. There’s no guarantee that will lead to a resolution, but there is at least a possibility. Which is more of a possibility than posting blind rants on FB.

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    1. That’s one of the reasons I quit Facebook – I was so sick of the passive-aggressive rants. It gets annoying to read them after awhile.

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        1. There are about four people on FB that I’d lose touch with completely if I wasn’t there, so I stay, but I spend very little time there. I pop on once or maybe twice a day, and that’s about it.

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  2. Yea, its true that when we find someone spitting out a passive aggressive rant we would get upset. But it certainly takes a lot of courage to confront but nevertheless that’s what we should do,

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  3. One way to deal with conflict is to change your approach. Rather than the PERSON, take the ACTION to task. Another way–and an important thing to remember (taking a leaf from the “manager’s handbook”, scold in private, praise in public.

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  4. Of course. I always try to stay out of arguments, but if ever in one, I’ll always face the facts – it always seems to be the best way to settling differences.

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  5. I agree with what you wrote about stating the problem and trying to figure out a solution. I am very guilty of being a passive aggressor. It’s never too late to change though. I feel like to a certain extent though I would prefer being passive aggressive than beating around the bush. Then the problems will truly never get addressed or solved.

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