Some Puns for Your Amusement

These were circulated at my job a few days ago, so I thought I’d share. 🙂

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

 Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

When chemists die, apparently they barium.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, you know urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro — what a rip off!

9 thoughts on “Some Puns for Your Amusement

  1. Funny. I guess some people missed the “for your amusement” part and took them too seriously. Either that or they are hopelessly boring.

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