Here is the WordPress daily prompt, which I shall do because I can’t think of a single thing to write about.
Set a timer for ten minutes. Open a new post. Start the timer, and start writing. When the timer goes off, publish.
I can type a lot of words in 10 minutes, so this is going to be more or less a brain dump. However, I should probably try to put some thought into it and not just write about the mundane things that happen in my life.
They tell you that it’s good if you write in the early morning, before you’re even fully conscious. Write down anything, whatever comes into your mind. The key is not to stop. So I’d probably write about the dreams I had the night before, since those are usually the first thing in my mind on any given morning. Then I’d write what I wanted to accomplish for the day.
Then I would ramble nonsensically about the past. If there’s one thing I wish I could change about myself, it’s that I live in the past too much. I spend too much time obsessing over what might have been, what should have been, what would have been, what could have been. It’s a common malady, supposedly. The past is over and all you have is the future and the fleeting present.
It’s scary to think that this is the only January 24, 2013 you will ever see in your life. Even if you do the exact same thing every day, something will be different that will distinguish this day from the others that have gone on before it and the others that will follow after it. This is the only day of its kind, and yet, it is like so many other days.
And then I would think about the future, which scares me. I have never thought about the future for too long because I still fear the future. I am trying not to think too much about what bad things could happen, but about the good that could happen. I will live happily ever after, either with somebody else or by myself.
Despite the scientific studies that show single people are more likely to die at early ages, I don’t think that. I don’t believe that everyone is happier with people around all the time. People stress me out. They make my blood pressure go up. I have always thought that to be averse to other humans is a sin. I should be around humans. I should make other humans happy and brighten their lives. I can try that. I can do it for my close family and my best friend. But for everyone else… I am too shy. Being alone is satisfaction.
Another thing… I have been obsessing over XIII lately. Every time I get on Twitter, I end up griping about XIII. I retweeted someone the other day who said that they’d be lost if they didn’t have a work in progress to gripe and whine about. I agree. Without a work in progress, I would be a lost soul and then loneliness might indeed put me to an early death.
I didn’t expect this post to be so morbid. I’m normally a cheerful person, at least around those I know well. Around those I do not know well, I am somewhat shy, somewhat of a creep, somewhat of a weirdo. But weird people make life interesting, both in good and bad ways.
Tomorrow is Friday and when I awaken, I will not turn to the blank page. I will get to work, turn to the blank page in the moments I have before I “clock in” and I will write and my mind will be blank because the dreams will already have left it. That is all I have to say, and I think this is by far the longest blog post I have written this year. But my time isn’t up yet, so I have to come up with one more saying and the first thing that comes to mind is…
I have no idea.