Cell Phone Rant

To quote the Katy Perry song: “I just wanna throw my phone away / Find out who is really there for me.”

If I were to rewrite the song, it’d go something like this: “I just wanna throw my phone away / Instead of getting a new battery.”

These days, my phone can barely hold a charge, so it has to be tethered to its charger at all times with the WiFi and the data turned off. Why not get a new battery? Because honestly, I can’t be bothered. I want to exchange my phone for an old-fashioned flip phone, or at least one that has the little slide-out keyboard so I can text faster than one character a minute.

A few months ago, I made the horrible mistake of syncing my work email to my cell phone, so whenever I have a spare second or if I’m not thinking of anything in particular, I check my work email when I’m not at work. This can lead to much vexation, groaning, and workaholism, as I find myself thinking of work when I really ought to unplug. Easy solution: The problem could be solved simply by deleting my company’s email app from my phone. Counter-argument: What about emergencies? (At least that’s the excuse I make.)

I try to keep the number of apps on my phone to an absolute minimum, so the battery doesn’t drain any faster and so I don’t become one of those zombies who texts behind the wheel and walks around in public with her eyes glued to her phone. (Or one of those awkward millennials who’s sitting in a room full of live human beings but staring at the glowing screen in her lap.) It’s irritating when you’ve just cleared your notifications, then five seconds later, you get another one and the light on your phone begins an incessant, annoying blinking. That’s the point at which I put my phone face down on my desk and ignore it. Ain’t nobody got time for all those notifications.

What’s your worst pet peeve about your cell phone?

7 thoughts on “Cell Phone Rant

  1. I just read an article about a band that, when performing has a message for the audience, something like this: “Put your phone away. Stop documenting every moment of your life. Live in the moment. Besides, all it does is light up your stupid face.” 🙂

    I don’t have a lot of complaints about my phone, but I am glad that there’s nothing work-related on it. They have my phone number and email — that’s enough.

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    1. Exactly! I read an article about someone who was at a concert, and he said that the entire time, the two women next to him were texting on their cellphones constantly — while the concert was going on. I don’t get it.

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  2. I guess it’s one of those can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. In the old days this referred to the opposite sex, not an inanimate object. I guess I am giving away my age…

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