The Thursday Three #33

Try saying the title of this blog post five times fast!

  1. A couple months ago, I took a course so I can become certified by the American Medical Writers Association (and have something nice to put on my resume). In the course I learned a useful “pattern of questions” that can be employed when trying to edit long, confusing sentences: First ask, “What is the verb?” Then ask, “Who or what?” about the verb. This will help you find the subject. Finally, ask, “Whom or what?” after the subject and verb together. This will help you find the direct object of the verb. From there, you’ll hopefully know enough to make sense of the sentence and edit it so it’s less confusing.
  2. I haven’t been inside the fictional land of my stories in a while, and I’m trying to decide on a reasonable goal that I can stick to and still make progress. They say that 100 words a day is good because it’s a tiny amount and very manageable, and at the end of the year, you end up with a cute little novella. However, “they” didn’t mention that it’s hard to get into (and stay into) a story when it’s being written at such a slow pace.
  3. The three most important pieces of marriage advice I’ve gotten so far are (1) always communicate, (2) the first year is the hardest, and (3) talk to your spouse first about any issues; don’t go whining to anyone else. The three most important pieces of wedding advice I’ve gotten so far are (1) it’s your wedding; do what you want, (2) it’s your wedding; do what you want, and (3) it’s your wedding; do you what you want, but you really should do it this way…

How’s everyone’s week going?

Cell Phone Rant

To quote the Katy Perry song: “I just wanna throw my phone away / Find out who is really there for me.”

If I were to rewrite the song, it’d go something like this: “I just wanna throw my phone away / Instead of getting a new battery.”

These days, my phone can barely hold a charge, so it has to be tethered to its charger at all times with the WiFi and the data turned off. Why not get a new battery? Because honestly, I can’t be bothered. I want to exchange my phone for an old-fashioned flip phone, or at least one that has the little slide-out keyboard so I can text faster than one character a minute.

A few months ago, I made the horrible mistake of syncing my work email to my cell phone, so whenever I have a spare second or if I’m not thinking of anything in particular, I check my work email when I’m not at work. This can lead to much vexation, groaning, and workaholism, as I find myself thinking of work when I really ought to unplug. Easy solution: The problem could be solved simply by deleting my company’s email app from my phone. Counter-argument: What about emergencies? (At least that’s the excuse I make.)

I try to keep the number of apps on my phone to an absolute minimum, so the battery doesn’t drain any faster and so I don’t become one of those zombies who texts behind the wheel and walks around in public with her eyes glued to her phone. (Or one of those awkward millennials who’s sitting in a room full of live human beings but staring at the glowing screen in her lap.) It’s irritating when you’ve just cleared your notifications, then five seconds later, you get another one and the light on your phone begins an incessant, annoying blinking. That’s the point at which I put my phone face down on my desk and ignore it. Ain’t nobody got time for all those notifications.

What’s your worst pet peeve about your cell phone?

Beware the Ads on Tumblr

Tumblr has been one of my favorite social media sites (well, practically the only one I’m on) since its inception, although lately I’ve been tempted to kick it to the curb because 90% of its content is beginning to be offensive to me and because you can’t do an innocent image search without running into very risqué stuff. Since Tumblr was bought by Yahoo! a few years back, it’s only gotten worse, and so have the ads. Like this one:*

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At first, I thought the object in the little speech-bubble heart was a wedding band, but then I lowered my mind to the gutter, looked more closely, actually read the text of the ad, and realized that the object is in fact a condom. I began to get angry, but I realized I was on Tumblr and this ad is probably the least of all the things on there I could get angry about.

The picture says, to put it simply, If you love me, use a condom or I will prove my love for you by using a condom. I could imagine how using a condom could be seen as a caring gesture because you’re looking out for a lover’s well-being, but it is upsetting that it has to be that way,** that the types of things condoms guard against are so prevalent, and that a condom is not 100% effective in doing its job.

To answer the question in the ad, yes, sex is risky. A condom can guard a certain part of one’s body and may even provide temporary peace of mind, but it cannot guard one’s heart. I know that a discussion about protecting emotions is not what the ad intends to start, but the heart above the two guys’ heads reminds the person viewing the ad that heavy emotions are involved. What I’m getting at is that the heart should be removed from the ad. Perhaps the two guys should each be holding onto the condom instead of each others’ hands, and maybe the speech bubble should be shaped normally, with actual words (that don’t pertain to love) inside it. To me, putting a condom inside of a heart is putting a Band-Aid over a stab wound.

*Yes, I realize that I’m perpetuating the ad by posting it here, but who the heck reads this stuff anyway? 🙂

**Well, it certainly doesn’t have to be that way, but that’s the subject of many other posts and PSAs that mostly end up preaching to the choir.